Gwyneth Paltrow Says ‘Conscious Upcoupling’ From Chris Martin Got Her Fired

High-profile celebrity divorces regularly make headlines, but few separations ever created a stir quite like that of actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay singer Chris Martin’s “conscious uncoupling” in 2014.

During the Jan. 6 episode of the Good Hang with Amy Poehler podcast, Paltrow, 53, reflected on the fallout from the now-infamous phrasing and revealed that it even cost her an acting job.

When Poehler, 54, asked Paltrow if she had ever been fired, the actress recalled being let go from a job in a toy store when she was 12 for taking an unannounced vacation. The average person might empathize with Paltrow’s youthful dismissal, but the conversation soon turned to a more recent firing unique to the A-lister.

“I was supposed to do a movie at one point, and it was like right after the kind of conscious uncoupling thing with Chris,” Paltrow said, referring to the pair’s famous breakup statement from 2014, in which they announced in a Goop blog post that they were getting a divorce after 13 years of marriage and two children.

The proclamation stated Paltrow and Martin’s intention to “consciously uncouple,” a term that implied a healthier, more thoughtful approach to separation than the messy celebrity divorces often seen in the press and on television.

“There was like a lot of, a lot of harsh stuff in the press,” Paltrow told Poehler. “And I think the [film’s] distributor was like, this might be too hot to touch.”

She continued, joking, “So, that was great because I was getting a divorce and then I got fired off. And it was so awesome.”

“It’s really interesting that people had such big reactions to that,” Poehler said, pointing out that she had understood the statement’s original message.

“You gave a word, and it wasn’t your term; it was a term you were talking about. To bracket this idea that if you want to, you can try to make the dissolution of a marriage be one that isn’t deeply painful. You can try your best,” Poehler said.

While the phrase is forever linked to the couple, it was coined by Katherine Woodward Thomas, a therapist and author of the book Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After.

The strong response at the time, Paltrow believes, came from people who felt judged for how they handled their own divorces. “That makes sense to me, like, ‘Oh no, is the inference that I mess someone up.’ That’s not a nice thing to contemplate,” she said. “You only see that kind of reaction when it’s personal.”

During the episode, Paltrow also opened up about her past with people-pleasing. “I’m a recovering codependent,” she said, continuing, “I used to do anything and everything, not to say the thing that would make the waters choppy. And then I realized how many more problems I caused, like real problems, you know?”

As a solution, Paltrow sought help for the habit in her forties. “I worked with a coach on how to hold the uncomfortable feelings of somebody else and disappointing somebody else,” she shared.